Black star ?

You such a good person, take care everything about me. I’m glad that you came in my life, our love story begin when I was sitting alone on the school yard finishing my lunch box at the moment you came and asked me either chair beside taken or not. I didn’t  like have a conversations with strangers, and I looked at you and said “ nope “ and that was the first “ hello “ words from me upon you. You sat beside me and ate your lunch that you bought, the wind blow perfectly smooth and your perfume seems like familiar for me and brings of something that is couldn’t remember. Ughh Try to remember that smell but I still can’t, I like to draw a black star on my hand near with thumb sudden you ask me about the stars, gosh I’m not trying to be snob. “ next time I will tell you why, because the bell will ring soon and we have to back in classroom “ I said. For the next day we met in same place I don’t think that you plan to be there again, Just ignoring you on that time, ate my pancake with iced lemonade. “ I wait for something “ you said to me “ huh, talking to me ? “ “ nope, that uncle nasi lemak” maybe you try to make some joke making me laugh nor It didn’t. “ tell me about the stars, common you promised to me” you repeat it. “ so semak, oke lahhhh” gasp. I love starts and moon, we lucky to have them shining our dark and cool night, sparkling high on the sky but they will disappear when the sun comes up, Then I draw the star because I miss them and can’t wait for night coming, get it ? “ And why black on your hand? “ you asked, “ Are you reporter? Writing an article about me? Huh “ I replied. “ Please tell me some”, “ I do it because I want to end this conversation Oke, not more than that ! For them I’m such a black stars”, “ Them ? “ (your weird face) “ everyone lah, school mate, friends Ohh forget I don’t have any friends, I love to sit here alone just me and my star no one could understand what I’m feel inside just judging people it sucks oke ! for them I’m just a stranger they called me black star !” my words “ but I never felt you like a strangers you just different from others lah” On that time I fell like something different, and I never told anyone about my life you’re the first one. Start from that moment we getting closer and sharing everything about life, Trying to end the conversation change to a relationship between me and you. You know that I’m not a good person but you always with me. After knowing you for a year and the memories still alive on my mind even now we are not together like before. The most precious memories when we out to city without any money for survive just left for eat, I’m not born with a silver spoon Only have plastic spoon in my house but you always beside me and never left me alone I remember your words “ Money can buy everything but not happiness” we spent our night together watching the night stars and moon on the peak sharing our life story while eating gummy bears and jelly bean, we came from different family background, you fully pamper with wealth while I’m not, spend our night playing fire work like a child, we laugh and  didn't realize we were making memories we just knew we were having fun on that night. When I’m sick you cooked a healthy foods for me when I’m stress you sang for me, at that time I’m fully blank why you doing that on me, I’m nothing no money. Now, you’re gone, for ever gone. You left me a box with letters and picture tears still drop when I read your letters

 “ Dear you, when you read this letter I will not be with you nor beside you or accompany watching night stars I’m so sorry. Knowing you make me more confident to spoke it loud more brave to have a night walk and had a big smile with my pink braces, we are born to be together maybe not here but in heaven you and me share the same heart in different body. Thanks allowed me to sit beside you during the lunch, I want to say thank you but your face grr scary. I wont say that “ I LOVE YOU “  because I can’t ! Maybe my mom had told you that I’m suffer from brain disease I have tumors and doctors said I have no longer life to stay. I take an action not to tell you because we have so much fun together and I wont spoil it up! When I see your smile even I know It was rough for you to do it make me happy. You have a rough life and I just want to make it smooth when you with me. Please don’t cry when I’m not here, do remember even I’m not beside you, believe that I always in your heart  stay strong face this world, you are not The black star! You different from others you’re my star always shone for me. ’’

You came without any invitations and left without any reason, To be honest I still miss you and need you in my life, when I watching the night stars I felt like you’re here accompany me. You always on my Du’a I hope we will met someday and holding hand together. Thank you for coming in my life even for a while, you an angles send by god.

Note from writer : To all lovers out there please take a good care your couple don’t miss them when it gone J

Smile after Crying part 1

Setiap manusia yang lahir dimuka bumi ini tidak akan lari daripada Ujian dan dugaan Dari ALLAH, jangan risau setiap dugaan pasti dapat kita lalui dan selesaikan walaupun pedih dan melibatkan pengorbanan. Saya bukanlah alim Ulama tapi saya hanya seorang lelaki biasa yang selalu diberi ujian oleh ALLAH. Beloved readers keep the positive think on your mind that was the best way to face all the challenges, one of the book had i read before, ada menyatakan sekirannya kita sentiasa bersama dengan orang yang berfikiran Positif maka segala tindakan yang kita akan lakukan juga akan ke arah yang positif, jika sebaliknya kita dikelilingi oleh orang yang negative maka tidakan kita juga akan kearah yang memudaratkan, Nau'zubillah.

Sedar mahupun tidak tujuan ALLAH menurunkan Ujian dan dugaan kerana ALLAH rindukan Umatnya untuk memohon dan berdoa kepadanya. Kita sebagai hambanya jaganlah sesekali sombong berjalan di muka bumi ALLAH ini, apalah salahnya menunaikan solat Fardu 5 waktu, serious cakap tak susah nak tunaikan cuma malas sahaja nak buat, tak apa buat sikit sikit tapi kerap insyaallah lama kelamaan esti full solat kita, for friends surround  please give support and jangan nak overthrow kawan awak tu darling. As a friend kita kena support each other baru lah friends til jannah macam tu.

the conclusion for part 1 is, being positive is a one of way to solve your problem. Stay tuned and I'll share another technique solving problem. Keep calm and make Du'a friends.

Never plays with HEART !

Felt in love with you was my past mistake and Now I still think about you that a stupid thing that I should stop it now ! It easy to say but hard to do. I've tried many ways but at the ends I failed and cry. No One understand what had i fell, what they always say " Just Leave it and start a new life ". People always can say because they never been in this situations. Just a quiet night's knows what i'm fell and walking in rains is the best way to hide tears. I'm always smile and laugh when with friends because I want to hide my sorrow but deep inside it's hurt like walking with a bare foot in broken glass bleeding every where ! Dear heart I wish you can be more strong than before, "what does kill you make you stronger" - kelly clrakson . Dear couple out there please do not ever playing with heart, because A broken heart is like a broken mirror It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it. If you try to play with it please forget it it's useless believe in KARMA , what you give you will get back !

"Love isn't about finding the perfect person, it's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly"

You .

I thought you are fading away but you still in my heart, After all what we have gone through I decided to live alone without you beside me. You completely erased me from your memory. But just a few days ago, suddenly you popped into my life again and keep me reminiscing all the time we had together and it hurts. You left me with no goodbye nor single words was said and made me wondering what the hell is going on, And FYI you destroy my life once ago , i live with the broken heart and you won't feel the same because you are heartless. Day by day , month to years , Yes i realize you just nothing and pointless , you're gonna break my heart anywhere just go away and don't ever come back . I'm wasting time my heart my love and my life because of you . I regret it , I'm such a fool Damn I hate this !

"No more crying, I can't cry anymore. Don't take my hand this time. Just go please and don't look back, because I know if you did, I'd come running back to you and I can't do that"

Empangan Sg Tengi

3.sept.2012

Another boring Monday noon searching place to " lepak " near with Unisel Bestari Jaya , Empangan Sg tengi the peaceful place to release tension after finishing class or to run from a busy student life . Almost 2 hour we enjoys the natures there while ate keropok lekor that we bought from Pasar malam Kg sebelah . We were Taking picture , gossiping and the most important part is we had talk about our future what we'll be in the next 5 years from now , a bit funneh . The four of us insyaallah planed to have a wonderful vacation going to anywhere as long we keep to be together . 

  

I Hate Plastic !

I will not stop because it is hard on me, not because I start to breathe heavily. The time I will stop is a time I will never see. Every day is a second chance God gave us to live where god put a challenges to test our patience to face the day whether we through the day with the successful or otherwise that is the reality of life, but what I have, every day is a misery to continue living why I say this because I am surrounded by people who forged faces perhaps the person who a fake faces will be affected with me last verse dear people who a affected, this is my blog the perfect place for me to wrote what had my heart felt and I never mentions your names and maybe the story is not about you. Whatever back to story, humans are born and given the same color of red hearts but will be different inside the heart, at here only the person itself who understands what are inside his/her heart. Nature of world, we can not appease peoples, because human has a different flavors, in this case I would be comfortable to sit alone without a friend because what are friends for if they could not understand us. Meaning of friend, is someone who are close to our personal and can relieve the sore that we encounter and helping in problems that we face and not one that adding our problems and try to overthrow us! The value of a friend is honorable, do not fool it!! I like to be alone does not mean that I was arrogant and totally I was not anti social weyhh, it is because I am not comfortable to socialize because i have fears to live in the community, which I had described as fake people. Hello, I am different to compare with another people I was weird and no one can understand me. Sharing my problems with people was not my style because I never put my trust on people except my beloved parent and why , because before this I had put my trust on one of friends lah, but what he gave to me was a SHIT that i will never forget until my last breathe since the day was happened i never, ever put my trust to anybody. Btw thanks for the memories DUDE

"You might have ruined my past, screwed up  my present. But there's no way you're going to touch my future"

Happy Abah day :D

I was born in small families only have Abah and Mak , although I am an only child I have not been spoiled as an another kids I trained to be independent since childhood . Abah played a major role in educating me to become a useful future , he is fierce and always serious when forming my personality he taught the best way to talk, walk, eat and so on .

What can i describe about my Abah personality is he was a simple guy on earth i think lah , he don't like to punish me if i committed the offense but the way he sit and have a talk with me he taught me what was wrong and what should i do when i was wrong . Honest to say , I'm not an angelic boy born with a wings I do a lot of mistake and I still do it now .

But one story Mak had told me , when I was 5 years old i involved with an accident a motorcycle violate me from behind and i was injured had to stay for a few weeks in hospitals and the scars still remains in my knees , and you know what ! Mak told me when i was in the hospitals Abah had made a bumper in front the road of my house to make sure that I will safe when i go out from the gate . Plus mum said on that time all the people in 'Kampung Kerdas' said my fathers was crazy lah and so on lah . Ahahaa , funny doh . 

One fact about Abah , he have a stony heart . He never shown me that he loved me by the words or present even a good night kiss like Mak always do at me , but i believe in deeply inside he loved me ever because abah always reloads my hand phone even thought I never ask for it , Love you till jannah Abah " Mr Tamrin B. Arab "

" You’ve seen me laugh You’ve seen me cry And always you were there with me. I may not have always said it But thanks and I love you Happy Abah’s Day "

Happy Pills .

They are my happy pills which I do not need drugs, alcohol or excessive entertainment just to cheer me it was normal in friendship sometimes we hurt by the words, discouraged by the behavior it is normal because we are the people who can not flee from making mistakes .That is the purpose why we are friends, we have one another exhort each other. We often make mistakes and need people to guide us and not bring us down . Friends are willing to listen a painful and mellitus story that we have faced ,I am thankful to know you all although I often hurt them, but they stayed with me and always help if I am in trouble . They are the ones that always make me laugh and sometimes forget the problems that I faced . We can not replace the friendship that was forged to the property and love because friendship fostered from the sincere heart of a man to accept us become friends . It does not matter, however bad our friends he is still our friends we need to guide and advise to become a better person . Do not evaluate or contravene our friends based on his past sins, the sin is God's dealing, we can only pray that the sin is forgiven immediately and that is character a glorious friends .

" We shared smiles 

We wiped d tears.

and through d years,

Our friendship grown with us.

Thanks for always making me smile

You are truely a wonderful part of my life"

 

        

 

Love is the Losing game

Today was a boring day for me just spent sitting in front of laptop while surfing the internet in the unconscious, I was stalking your profile , infusion for a while in my heart, a sense of longing to chat with you but you was offline . Missed our first relationship that is something stupid that I used to missed and i missed all the laugh, cry, share our problems, but it has become a memories . Our adolescence is a time where we do a lot the offense because on that time we are young , wild and free and all negligence was the one taught us and mature us to be more careful to choose the way of life in the future . Without realizing it, all that has passed leaving us and now what can I see that you're happy with the choice had you make it while me I am really enjoy my life now . I hope we always be friends and forget the past we have built .

"Effort. That's the only thing I'm asking for. It's so simple yet people make it seem like it's so hard"

Selamat Hari Ibu

This is the person who owns my heart and never be replace because she is the one , the only Mother I ever had . My Wonder Woman , take a good care of me for a 20 years . She is amazing because ALLAH only gave two hand and feet for her and she do all the things amazingly done without any excuses . She always make me smile , cooked my favourite meal , always know what is better for me . Dear mum , Thanks for everything I will not forget all your deeds and Insyaallah i'll pay it with all my heart and strength to take a good care of you as cared for me . With your Du'a make me more stronger to be faced with the world , and with your advise make me more confident to choose the right track for encountered . I'm so glad that I got you to be my beloved one . I Love You mak ever and after , and I Always pray for your happiness and get the well-being from Allah permanently . Insyallah our love till jannah <3

"Appreciate what we have now before they will go away to leaves us forever and at that time , crying is avail "

Senior Year ;D

Now move into the new semester and become student in senior year fueling bound to achieve greater heights this semester.let the spirit continues to burn. The challenge in this semester on the subject of the increasingly complicated and challenging forces the mind to think makes me more excited. Armed with a prayer from both parents and the commitment to succeed #Insyaallah, will lead to success, and efforts to improve the quality of learning is very important to excel. Hopefully the rest will face this semester with patience and work hard because success will not come easy

The Inspiration Quotes 

Najwa Latif - I Love You Lirik [Remake]

                         

I think this feeling has been erased in my heart but , inside I did not realize I started to fall in love with you . I started attracted by your attitude that , is always there beside me when I need . You like the moon that lighten when the night was dark what I want you to know that you are so special but , I can not express this love because I am weak and affaird will losing you one day . Let this love is eternal in hearts, even I can't have you , and you know i'll always be there for you .

Sorry , i miss you

I was invisible fallen in love with you and this love will not I express to you because I was weak, I am afraid when I express this feeling ,I will lost you as sea foam .I am afraid to lose people that I love , so let these feelings pent deep inside my hearts like Titanic are stranded in bottom of the sea and hide all the love story aboout jack and rose .Let the distance which separates us and the time envy , Even the earth dark without sunlight but I can still hear your voice that always be my spirit is enough already . Even though we are apart, our hearts always stay together Let this love pent up, because I was more comfortable to be friends with you , the way we share the grief and painful, the secrets and stories, crying and laughing together is quite beautiful in our relationship .Now I already away from you, I will pray that you always remember this friendship and care about this because you and me can not be together because we were created not to live together but bound to be friends .

Elise Testone - Whole Lotta Love (American Idol 2012 Top 9)

Elise testone , Top 9 performance Gosssh she rock that stage babe ! The energy that she put into the songs make me boost out and dance with her . Girl you deserve to win #AmericanIdol

Jealousy

Another day makes e feel’s lost a confident and strength to face with the world . I’m always praying that I was prefect like you , yahh you who are read my blog you’re perfect baby to compared with me . Sorry to says that I’m jealous with you , yess you ! No one else , have a happy family , lovely siblings and have a beloved one , Congrats dear I’m not like anybody , I just a unperfect to stand beside you I lost my positive charge, and it will not return to me again ! This unfortunate fate belong to me , All of you just can only criticizing because you’re not in my shoe and you never know how my day goes around . I’m not primitive i'm just feeling uncomfortable with my life . When I’m hanging out with my friends going somewhere to chill my mind actually I was not it is more worrying because my mind always run even if the body relax . Seeing people around me laughing and laughing as though they had no problem faced .